I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
