Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
