I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
