I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
