Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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