Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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