i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We got so high we made milksteak
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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