Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
