So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
