There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
