I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
