I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize