Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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