Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
