rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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