yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Randomize
