Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
