I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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