checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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