We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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