Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
