i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
