I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
