We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
