If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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