Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Watching her eat just hurts me
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
