I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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