i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
