You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
