Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
