As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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