I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize