Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
