EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
