We won't sleep together?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
