umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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