my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize