very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
