Will you blow on my dice?
My room smells like vodka and shame
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
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