At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
