you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
