bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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