talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Randomize
