Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
