Will you blow on my dice?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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