But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
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Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
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On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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