I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
