i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
