mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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