dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
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