I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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