i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
