taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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