Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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