We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize