Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
