the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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