Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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