so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
