xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
