Midget sex pt 2 tonight
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
