his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize