Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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