u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
