No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize