I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
