you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
His nipple licking is glorious
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