last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
