I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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