Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
