What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
