your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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