who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
operation have a gay friend backfired
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
