I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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