make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
